


Like an Evidence

by BabooBremond



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: F/F, Femslash, Fluff, JJ freaks out, Might be a bit ooc, No beta reader, Panic Attack, We Die Like Men, a bit of angst, but Jemily should have been canon, but it's mostly cute, first time I write for this fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:02:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28479624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BabooBremond/pseuds/BabooBremond
Summary: Emily gets shot while chasing an unsub, and JJ is forced to face a lot more feelings than she was expecting. When she decides to help Emmily along healing, things get even more complicated. Rated M for the last chapter. Set along season 7, after the whole Doyle case, but Will never existed.
Relationships: Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Emily Prentiss
Comments: 2
Kudos: 123





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic wasn't planned at all, I just had to write it! I only finished all of it, so there will be no wait between the chapters, I just need to understand how posting in this website works. I already posted all of it on ff.  
> Also, English is not my first language so I'm sorry for any mistake I made !

In the dark, dark night, 2 shots were fired before anyone had the time to react. The unsub would rather die than to be taken alive, and if he could take an agent with him, he was going to take his chance. 

2 shots. Loud, violent. 

The other agents didn’t think twice before firing back and he collapsed on the ground only seconds later, several shots in his chest. But few steps before him, the dark-haired FBI agent fell without having the time to fire herself. 

“We have a federal agent down” yelled her colleague. “Call me an ambulance, now!”

Around him, the uniform cops obeyed, calling 911 immediately.

“Come on, Prentiss, you know you still owe me 10 bucks on that bet, don’t close your eyes, Princess.”

“Morgan”, squeaked the brunette. “I didn’t have the time…”

“It’s okay, we got him. You’ll be okay…”

The ambulance got here in just a few minutes, and he knew his friend as going to be okay. Prentiss was a badass, a little gunshot wound wasn’t going to stop her. But now he needed to warn his teammates that weren’t here. And that was not a phone he was looking forward to. 

++++

“Where is she, Rossi? I want to see her.”

“She’s still in surgery, JJ. The doctor should come back soon to give us an update…”

The blonde clearly wanted to say something else, but she stood speechless in front of the older agent. She couldn’t make sense of what she was feeling right now. 

Morgan had called the precinct where she was with Reid to tell them what happened, and she had rushed here as fast as she could. She had to be with Em... Prentiss. She just needed to see her. 

But Rossi and Hotch were looking at her and she didn’t know what to say, how to make her point without sounding crazy, so she just sat down and put her head between her knees, trying to keep her thought from going in the wrong direction. 

“Where is Morgan?”

After several minutes of silence, she had noticed the absence of the black agent. She wanted to rip off his head for letting Prentiss get hurt, but he was her friend and she couldn’t help but worry about him.

“He’s in an observation room. He took a bad hit running behind the unsub before they caught him and he shot Emily. Doctor say he will be fine, they just want to make him pass a few more exams, just to be sure. 

Reid’s voice behind her startled JJ, already lost again in her thoughts. She had forgotten Reid came here with her. The moment she had heard Prentiss was hurt, everything else had disappeared from her brain. 

“You can go check on him if you want”, offered the young Dr. 

“No.”

She answered way too quickly and her colleagues all turned to her, surprised by her lack of concern toward their friend. 

“I just… You said he was fine, and I need to be here in case Emily comes out of surgery, or if we have an update. You go check on Morgan, but I will stay here, I… I have to stay here.”

No one answered anything to her reasoning, even if Rossi looked at her curiously. He could see how worried she was and the fire in her eyes at the simple thought of leaving the waiting room told him everything he needed to know. He never would have thought the two women were so close, Prentiss always seemed to get along much better with Morgan, and JJ with Reid, but then being the only two women out in the field probably helped bonding. 

After a few minutes, Hotch and Reid left to go check on Morgan, Rossi promising he would call them if there was any news about Emily. 

JJ remained sitting in the uncomfortable hospital chair. This was taking way too long. The doctor should have come back already, and Emily should be out of surgery, and they should be able to see her. This was not okay, something wrong was happening. Emily was not okay, and this was messing with her mind. 

Unable to stay in the chair one more minute, she got up and began pacing in the waiting room. She needed to move, to evacuate the anger and the worry that was inside of her, and it’s not like she could shoot the one who did that to… 

She froze suddenly in her tracks, and turned to Rossi.

“You got him, right? The unsub who shot Emily, you got him?” 

“Come on, JJ. I know you’re the best shot of the team, but you really think we would miss him? He shot one of us. The guy was dead before Emily hit the ground.” 

“I’m sorry, Rossi”, she sighed, “I know you wouldn’t miss him. I just hate that I wasn’t there and now Emily is hurt and I’m just…”

“Helpless? Powerless? Scared”

“Yes…” All of that and then some more, she thought but said nothing. 

“She will be okay, JJ. This is Prentiss we’re talking about, she’s tougher than anyone else on this team. She will be fine, and in not even 24 hours we will be fighting with her to force her to stay in her hospital bed.” 

JJ smiled softly. Prentiss did hate to stay in the hospital, no matter how hurt she was. 

“I know she’s tough… But she should be out of surgery by now, Rossi…”

The older man stayed silent, knowing very well the young blonde was right. The surgery shouldn’t be this long. It meant there were complications, and complications meant bad news. 

The two agents sat side by side in the sad looking waiting room, JJ holding on desperately to the hopes that Emily was tough. She was strong and she would fight, she was going to be just fine…

“Emily Prentiss?”

She was up before the doctor was even done pronouncing her name. 

“How is she? Will she be okay?”

She was not going to ask him if she was alive. Because she refused to consider that this question could somehow matter. Emily was alive, that was it, the alternative was not an option.

“Your friend will be okay,” smiled the doctor. “There were some complications during the surgery, an artery ruptured, but we managed to contain the blood loss. You are federal agents, right?”

“Yes.”

Rossi answered, because JJ was too speechless to do. The relief was overwhelming and she could almost hug that doctor here and now just for being the provider of good news. 

“I’m guessing that will be your friend’s first question then: yes, she will be able to come back to work. She should be up for desk duty in about 5 weeks. It will take longer to get back in the field, she might have to some physical therapy for her arm.”

JJ and Rossi both smiled at that. He probably dealt with a lot of cop and federal agents in his service, because that was definitely going to be Emily’s first question. 

“Usually we only allow visitation for family but…”

“We’re her family!” Reacted immediately JJ, fire dancing in her eyes, without waiting for the end of his sentence. There was no way she was going to stay here silently and leave Emily alone, they were her family, all of them. 

“I realize that, Madam, I see a lot of officers here. As I was saying, we usually only allow family, but I’ll let you guys go see her. Only two of at a time.” 

“Oh”, she blushed when realizing her outburst had maybe been a little out of place. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…” 

“It’s okay, I know you must be worried for your friend. She’s still asleep but you can go see her already, room 316.” 

JJ whispered an embarrassed Thank you and all but ran to the room while Rossi behind was thanking the doctor and calling Reid and Hotch. 

And there she was. Laying asleep in the hospital bed, Emily was there. She looked so much better than JJ had feared and the thought made her smile. Of course, even dying, Emily would still look like a model. 

Her face had barely a few scratches, probably from her fall, and she just looked so pale, but other than that, she looked as flawless as usual. 

JJ’s smile disappeared as soon as her eyes fell on her shoulder. Two shot, only one bullet had said the others. The first one had been stopped by her bullet proof vest, and the second had hit right beside it. Just one inch and she would have been perfectly fine, they would already be in the plane to get back, sleeping or talking softly to avoid waking up the others. Morgan was grumpy if he didn’t sleep.

But instead, she was in this hospital bed, and JJ slowly approached her, until she was standing right beside the bed, and she took her hand in hers. 

“I… I need you to wake up, Emily. Do you understand, I need you to open your eyes and… and insults my caffeine addiction, or tease me or just… Just say something, Emily…”

A lonely tear began rolling down her cheek but JJ quickly made it disappear. She couldn’t breakdown, not yet, and not here. 

“She will be okay, Jayje. You know that.” 

Morgan’s voice startled her and forced to pry her eyes away from the peaceful look on the brunette’s face. At least she didn’t seem to be in pain…

“Morgan? Are you okay, shouldn’t you be…?” 

“Still doing exams. Yeah. I might have threatened that poor nurse if she didn’t let me see Emily. I needed to make sure she was okay, that she wasn’t…”

“It’s not your fault, Morgan.”

As much as she would like to have someone to blame and to hit, she knew her friend had done nothing wrong tonight, the only fault was on the unsub now laying in the morgue downstairs. 

“I know”, he answered softly. “But I still needed to see her… I promised Hotch to go back to my bed after checking up on her… Are you going to be okay, Pennsylvania?”

A light chuckle escaped her throat while she smiled at him. This was so Morgan. Emily was in bad shape, he was hurt, but he was still worried about her. 

“I will be fine. I just… I have to be with her right now, but you should go rest, Derek. We will call you if… when she wakes up, or if anything happens.” 

After one last smile, Morgan slowly retracted from the room and went back to his bed, supported by Reid. Immediately, Hotch took his place by the bed with JJ. Two at a time in the room, had said the doctor. Clearly, her colleague had decided it was easier to go one by one than to get her to come out of here anytime soon. 

Now sitting in a chair by the bed, still holding Emily’s hand in hers, JJ was ready for whatever Hotch was going to tell her, wondering if he would comment on her behavior these past hours or let it slide. She hoped it would be the later, because she was not ready to analyze her feelings right now. The storm of emotions and worry had crashed all of her defenses but she couldn’t stop to wonder what all of this meant. Right now, she needed to be there for Emily, that was all that mattered. She could always think about herself later, but now, Emily needed her. 

“Do you want me to ask Rossi to get you something to eat?” 

“What?”

Hotch’s voice had finally broken the silence but not with the type of question JJ had been expecting. 

“You should eat JJ. You’re going to be here for a long time, and you need to eat and drink.” 

He was giving her permission. He knew she was going to stay all night long right here, and he wasn’t questioning it. Not right now, at least. 

“I… could use a cup of coffee.” 

He nodded in silence and went back to the door. 

“Hotch?” She called him before his hand touched the handle.

He turned around and looked at her quizzically, waiting for her to add something. 

“Thank you.” 

It was all she needed to say. He knew what she meant, and they didn’t need any more words. There would be time later to understand and explain herself, but now was not this time.

The rest of the team took turns all night long to stay with her in the room, to never leave her alone. At some point, Reid told her that they called Garcia to keep her updated and that she wanted her to call as soon as possible, but the information barely registered in her brain made foggy by worry and exhaustion.

A few times during the night her mind had started slipping toward dangerous roads. What if Emily never woke up? What if she woke up but had amnesia? What if her arm was dead? What if she woke up and JJ had to talk to her about… whatever this mess of emotions was? 

Soon the sun started flowing the little room and she couldn’t believe it was already the morning. She had been there for almost 12 hours, she could feel it in every and each one of her muscle and yet, she felt like it was only an hour since she had gotten that phone call. 

Reid was beside her, giving her up another cup of coffee, one more. 

“Eat this, JJ.” 

She moved her eyes to look at him, first time in hours she saw anything else than her friend in this hospital bed, and finally noticed he was holding out a bear claw, clearly supposed to be for her.  
When was the last time she had had anything to eat? Did she even had time to eat something for dinner before the phone rang? She couldn’t remember. 

She didn’t feel hungry, but she still took the pastry, not wanting to hurt her friend and aware that, even if she didn’t feel it right now, her body needed some food to function. She couldn’t function on coffee for 24 hours, and it wouldn’t do any good to be passed out in a hospital bed in the next room when Emily was going to wake up. 

Because she was going to wake up. JJ couldn’t envision another way for this day to end than with her friend finally opening her eyes, she refused to consider another possibility.

And yet, hours kept passing by. Morgan was released by his doctor, for real this time, and came with her in the room for a moment. She knew he was a lot more affected than he was okay showing. Emily was his best friend, his wingman whenever they went to the bar. When she was with Morgan, she was just one of the boys, and probably the only person Morgan confided into.

“She will wake up.” 

She was surprised to hear her own voice sounding so confident, as she tried to reassure him. Surprised to even find it in her, to try and comfort him, but that let her focus on something else than the maelstrom of thoughts in her brain. 

Just as surprised as her, Morgan just nodded. He knew she would wake up, and she would be okay. He was just as worried for Emily as for Jennifer. He had never seen the blonde woman react that way.  
They all got hurt sometimes, it sucked but it was part of the job, and they all learned to live with it. Jennifer’s reaction was nothing like her usual composed self. She may not be the one on the team with the toughest wall, but she was still guarded, like all of them. But this… This was raw, and hard, and new. He had no idea what was going between his two friends, but clearly something was happening. He just wondered if they were both aware of it. 

Hours kept going by. The doctor visited the room in the afternoon, and told them she should wake up any minute now. The anesthesia should have worn off her system and she should be back soon. Which, to be completely honest, did not reassure Jennifer one bit. 

If she was supposed to wake up by now, why wasn’t it happening? What was keeping her from being back? Were there any complications? A problem? Why was no doctor checking up on her more often? Why was….

“H... Hey”

At first, she thought she was dreaming. She had been awake for so long, she was having hallucination, that was surely it. 

But she lifted her head and she was there. Emily was there and her eyes were open, and the hand she was holding was suddenly holding hers back, and she was smiling. She was smiling, that damn smirk JJ thought she would never see again. 

“Emily… You’re awake… you’re awake!” 

Rossi, who had fallen asleep in the chair next to her, woke up suddenly, and called the nurse immediately.

Then it was a storm of actions and reactions, like Emily’s awakening had pressed some kind of hyperactivity button on everyone but her. She still couldn’t believe the brunette was awake. She would be okay. She was really going to be fine. 

As fast as everyone had arrived, they all left and she was once more alone in the room with the older agent. 

“JJ...”

She had retreated against the wall when the nurses came, and now she didn’t dare to come closer again. Seeing the brunette awake pushed her one step closer to the breakdown she kept avoiding, and she knew she couldn’t keep doing that much longer. At some point, she would need to take the time, to stop for a moment and analyze her feelings, but not yet, not here, and not right beside her. But she would she be able to keep the tears at bay if she talked to the brunette?

“JJ, come here…”

The blue-eyed agent slowly walked to the bed and sat back down on her chair. This time, it was Prentiss who reached out and took her hand. 

“Look at me, JJ, I’m okay…”

“I... I know. I just… “

Her words said that, but she was still avoiding looking at her directly. Instead she was looking at their linked hands, and the contrast between their skin, and how close she came to never see this again.

“It’s okay. I know how it is, JJ, you don’t have to say anything.”

But did she, couldn’t help but think JJ. Did she really know how Jennifer felt? Cause Emily never lost her cool, never let these things get to her. And how could she know how JJ was feeling when JJ herself had no idea what to make of her feelings?

“I will be okay, Jennifer.”

JJ nodded without adding another word. They stayed that way several minutes, in silence. JJ just basking in the knowledge that Emily would in fact, be okay, and in the wave of relief hitting her. And Emily, just looking at the blonde, hoping she would eventually look back at her. 

The brunette had realized her feeling for the younger agent long ago, and had made peace with the fact that nothing would never happen between them, because JJ was… She was JJ. She was straight as an arrow, beautiful, and perfect, and she would never look at her the same way. 

Finally, they were only interrupted when JJ looked up and saw Hotch behind the window of the room, in the corridor, motioning for her to come out. 

She said goodbye to Emily, knowing she wouldn’t stay alone for a long time anyway, the guys were already waiting by the door to come in. 

She met Hotch in the hallway, and started talking before he had the time to say anything.

“I know, I’m going to go back to the hotel. I just needed to see her awake, to know… To make sure. I’ll be going back to the hotel now. I need to sleep and to change, and to take a shower. Tell… Tell Emily I will pack her stuff, and bring her a change a clothing too, everything will be ready for when we can leave.”

Hotch seemed relieved he didn’t have to force her to leave the hospital. 

“I will tell her. We will call you if anything happens, and when we’re ready to leave. It probably won’t be until tonight, so you can take a nap… Do you need one of us to drive you back to the hotel? You haven’t slept in over 24 hours…”

“No, I will be okay. It’s just a 5 minutes’ drive, I’ll be fine. Thanks for… Thanks.”

She was grateful for the offer, but she needed to be alone right now. She didn’t think she could do small talk, and she would definitely crumble if someone tried to talk to her. 

“Don’t forget to call Garcia, she wanted to talk to you.”

She nodded but didn’t answer, already getting her jacket and walking toward the doors. Now that Emily was awake and okay, she needed to get out here and she couldn’t escape fast enough.  
Just 10 minutes later and she was back in her hotel room, with Emily’s key in her hand. The hostess downstairs had made a scene out of giving her that key and an exhausted JJ had finally chosen the easy way out, flashing her badge and gun to convince the teenager. 

Her hotel room looked so comfy in comparison with the hospital room she had spent the last night. That bed seemed absolutely perfect right now and she slouched like a worm, tired to the bone. Her thoughts immediately started running wild again, taking her back to Prentiss’s passed out body, her feeling that nothing would be okay. 

Her phone rang, startling, and she smiled seeing the caller’s ID. A real smile, the first in a long time.

“Hey Garcia.”

“Hey, girlfriend!”

Penelope’s cheery voice resonated through the phone and for one second JJ felt better. Garcia was like an antidepressant. A very powerful one. 

“The guys told me you just left the hospital and our girl is awake!”

“Yeah, she woke up maybe an hour ago. I just got the hotel I was about to call you…”

“Yeah, sure you were, sugarplum. How have you been holding up?”

JJ briefly considered lying and pretending everything was okay, but she knew the rest of the team had probably already told her she was anything but fine. 

“I will be okay, Penelope, this just… took a toll on me…”

“I know baby, but you know Emily will be fine, right? I’m sure she’s already fighting with Hotch to get out of her hospital bed.”

“That’s probably true,” laughed JJ. “I don’t know why this was so hard on me… I’m probably just tired these days, and this case was hard, that’s it…”

God, this didn’t sound true, not even to her own ears. 

Garcia just hummed, waiting for her to keep talking. She knew JJ was going to keep talking eventually because she needed to get all of this out of her chest, to open up, even if she didn’t know exactly what this was about, and Garcia had some ideas about that. 

“I just can’t lose her you know? And when Morgan called in and said she was shot, he didn’t say if it looked bad, or where she was shot, or even if she was wearing the damn vest, and my brain went to the worst-case scenario, of course, and I just… I can’t lose her, Garcia…”

Crystal tears were now rolling freely down her cheeks, JJ doing nothing to stop them, too tired to even care at this point. She needed to get this out of her system, to evacuate, and she was alone in this hotel room, with no one to see.

“It’s okay. Everything is going to be okay”, comforted Garcia. She hated knowing her friend wasn’t okay and she couldn’t be there for her to pull her in a bear hug, only whisper comforting word in her phone. She loved technology but this was frustrating.

“I couldn’t take it, she’s… she’s my best friend, Pen, she keeps me sane in the absolute madness we see every day, I don’t know what I would do if she were to die, I don’t know how I could go on. I don’t think I could.”

She stopped for a moment to catch a breath. Now that she started talking, it was impossible to shut up her train of thought, to stop these thoughts flooding her mind, she had to keep going. 

“I got so scared, Pen. And I walked into that room and she was so pale and immobile, I couldn’t leave until I was sure she was okay, I couldn’t leave keeping that image of her in my mind , and if something happened and she… and she didn’t wake up, this couldn’t be the last time I saw her, I had to stay, for her. I couldn’t leave, I just… I need her so much Garcia, I l…”

“I love her” That’s what she almost said, and barely caught the words before they left her mouth. But this couldn’t be real, right? But it made so much sense… her reaction, the way she worried, the way she was ready to jump at everyone’s throat, her need to stay close to her… 

“Oh my god.”

The whispered words came out softly in the silence of the phone call, and Garcia smiled on the other side of the line. 

“You just had a revelation, didn’t you?”

“I… I need to go, Pen. I’ll talk to you later.”

She hung up on her friend without any more goodbye, knowing Garcia wouldn’t hold it against her. 

She was in love. She was in love with a woman. She was in love with her colleague. She was in love with her colleague, Emily Prentiss. This couldn’t be okay. This was not okay. She wasn’t even gay! She had never been attracted to a woman before. Well, until now apparently. 

She always thought Emily was beautiful, but who wouldn’t. She had beautiful brown eyes, that stared at you like they could see your soul, and these pitch-black hairs, creating such a beautiful contrast with her porcelain skin, and that smile that could light up a whole room when she let her guard down, and that little dimple on her left cheek. She was beautiful, but noticing her, didn’t mean Jennifer was gay, right? 

She couldn’t be in love with her best friend, that would be such a mess in the office. How would she ever be able to get back in the field with her? How would she ever be able to look her in the eyes again? This would ruin everything. It would ruin their friendship, and this was the last thing JJ wanted to lose. 

Emily would never feel the same way about her… She wasn’t even a lesbian either, and there was not a chance she could ever fall for the naïve Pennsylvania girl…  
Her mind was spiraling with the epiphany that just struck her, and she ended up not even moving from the bed. 

She fell asleep right there, in the middle of the bed, her face covered in tears and her thoughts filled with fear.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A long car trip push JJ and Emily to discuss, which ends with a surprising proposition

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 is here ! Thanks for the kudos guys!

Her phone woke her up 3 hours later, ringing loudly in the quiet hotel room. JJ opened her eyes, feeling as if it had only been 10 minutes since she closed them. She could feel a headache appearing before she was even done extending her arm to the phone.

“Jareau”, she answered, trying to sound awake.

“JJ? Sorry to wake you up. The jet is expecting us in an hour, but can you meet up with us at the hospital in about 30 minutes to set up some things?”

She groaned a vague agreement and hung up rapidly. 20 minutes. She had twenty minutes to take a shower, be presentable, and be prepared to face Emily. Emily, the woman she was in love with. What could possibly go wrong, right? 

“ _Oh, and a painkiller_ ”, she thought when getting up from the bed, “ _I definitely need some painkiller too._ ”

15 minutes later she was ready. Washed, dressed, ponytail in place, nervous like a teenager, and her head still pulsing, but the meds should help quickly. 

“You can do this, Jennifer,” she told her reflection in the mirror. “You can do this, it’s just plain same old Emily, nothing changed. Nothing, at, all.” 

_“Right, nothing except that now I want to kiss her.”_

Did she? Wanted to kiss her? The thought hadn’t crossed her mind before but if the images running through her head were any indication, she definitely wouldn’t say no to the idea. Great, now she also needed to deal with her imagination running wild. 

She ran quickly into Emily’s room, right across the corridor, to pack her suitcase. Luckily for her, Emily was very tidy, and there wasn’t a mess to pick up everywhere. A smile creeped on her face when she felt surrounded by the brunette’s perfume, but she wiped away. She would not become a creepy lover, not go that cringy. Emily deserved better and so did she. 

The road to the hospital was too short for her taste, not giving her enough time to compose herself. But here she was. She dreaded going through these doors again, for the last time wasn’t so happy. But things were better today. She was not in tears, and Emily was awake. It would be alright. 

Their colleagues were already waiting for her when she got here. And Emily was out of her hospital bed, looking visibly pissed at the doctor who was talking to Hotch. She was still wearing her hospital gown, and looked at JJ like she was her savior. The pure happiness in her eyes upon seeing the blonde made JJ’s knees go weak, but she braced herself, and just kept walking. 

“Hey Buttercup, good to see you back.”

She smiled and said hello to everyone, before turning to Emily to give her the bag of clothing.

“I have never been happier to see you, Jayje! I need to get out of this ridiculous thing.” 

“Are you even cleared out?”

“No, she’s not”, sighed the doctor from across the room. “I’ve been desperately trying to explain that to her for the past hour!”

JJ smiled fondly. Of course, Emily would try to run from the hospital as soon as she could walk. 

“I’m fine”, complained Prentiss. “I can walk, I’m coherent, just give me some painkiller and let me be. “

The doctor sighed loudly, clearly tired of his patient, before turning to the rest of the team. 

“Is she always like that?” 

The question drew some laugh from her colleagues used to her antics and hatred of any white blouse. On the other side of the room, Emily was looking at him, tapping her foot on the floor, annoyed, and waiting to get her way. Cause she knew she would get her way, eventually.

“Listen, if she signs an AMA, I don’t have a choice but to let her leave. She can clearly talk in a coherent way”, he added with a sideway look toward the brunette, “and I will write her a prescription for painkillers. You guys can take her out of my hands, she’s all yours. However,”, he quickly continued before Emily could look too victorious, “you are NOT, under any circumstances cleared to fly.” 

“What?! Come on Doc, I’m fine!”

“With all due respect, you are not fine Madam. You had important bleeding, you will be under strong pain killers, your heart stopped during the surgery and you should rest. If you get on that plane, I can’t promise you you’ll be back here, but I promise you won’t like the experience!”

The debate lasted several more minute, Emily arguing while everyone else was telling her to just give up, until JJ snapped.

“Emily Elizabeth Prentiss, I swear to god if you even try to board on that plane, I’ll drag you by the hair and take you back to the ground!”

Everyone stayed silent for a second before Morgan turned his head to snicker discretely. Rossi and Hotch didn’t do anything to hide their smiles, while Emily just sat back in her seat, clearly pouting. Satisfied, the doctor didn’t dare to comment on the outburst. He had seen last night how that blond could way scarier than she seemed.

“Alright, if that is settled, I will let you make arrangements. When you check out, just pass by the nurse’s office to sign the AMA and get your prescription. “

The whole team agreed, while Prentiss just kept silent. She knew her colleague and the doc were right, but there was no way she was going to admit it now. 

“Alright. If Prentiss can board on the jet, then she needs to drive an SUV, and by that I of course mean that someone has to stay with her and drive.” 

Without even taking the time to complain or to think, Emily just turned to JJ, smiling. 

“What do you say, Jennifer, road trip?”

If she had to spend 6 hours stuck in a car with someone, she wanted it be JJ. She had seen how badly the blonde had took in her injury, and they hadn’t been able to spend much time together lately. Maybe this travel wouldn’t be such a punishment, she thought, barely able to contain her excitement at the idea. 

And JJ couldn’t say no when Emily was looking at her with that smile, and these big puppy eyes. And the rest of the team was acting like her answer was so obvious, and of course they would think that, after freaking out because Emily was hurt, it seemed logical she would want to stay with her, care for her. And as much as she wanted to get some alone time to process her new realization, she had to admit, they were absolutely right. 

So, JJ forced a smile on her face, and told herself to shut up. 6 Hours in a car with the woman she loved. This was going to be a blast.

“Sure, Prentiss, let’s make this a road trip.” 

“If everyone is okay with that plan, I will let you two to your planning”, started Hotch. "Rossi, Morgan, Reid, we still have a plan to catch in 20 minutes."

All the members of the team left in a few minutes, first stopping to say good bye to the two girls. Morgan made them promised to not have too much fun on their way, to which Prentiss answered by sticking her tongue out. 

Hotch got closer, said something to the brunette she didn’t seem to understand but still nodded carefully. Then he turned to JJ and offered her a short hug, just the time to whisper in her ear.  
“We will talk when you get back.”

Silently, she accepted. She knew at some point she would have to talk to him after what happened, he needed to make sure she was okay, and that she would be okay next time on the field.  
And everyone left. The two women were finally alone in the room. Afraid to look at the brunette, JJ tried to busy herself, looking at the posters in the wall like they were so inspirational.   
“It’s already 9pm, JJ, are you okay to drive tonight? We can spend one more night at the hotel and leave tomorrow morning…”

When the blonde turned her head, she saw Prentiss was looking at her curiously, seeming almost worried about her. Sure, her sudden change in attitude had to seem weird to the profiler. 

“We will have to do this road trip the real way, I already checked out at the hotel for both of us earlier… We should just leave now, and we’ll stop on the way to get something to eat, maybe stop in a motel if I’m too tired, don’t worry about me… Will you be okay to travel all night?” 

“Yes, don’t worry about that. It’s not like I will be doing much anyway, I will probably fall asleep in the car before we ever leave the city.” 

JJ smiled, knowing that was probably true, and Emily wouldn’t say that to anyone else. She let herself be vulnerable with the blonde like with no else. She trusted the blonde, and she was totally going to sleep in the car, because she knew she was safe with JJ, nothing would happen to her if the younger agent could prevent it. 

“Then I guess we’re good to go!”

Checking out of the room only took a few minutes, and Emily walked away with a smile on her face despite the nurses being clearly mad that she was leaving so early.   
The two FBI agents finished putting their travel case in the SUV and got on their way. A 6 hours’ drive, JJ brace herself. She was exhausted and she knew there was no way she wasn’t going to stop for the night, but she still would like to get as far as possible from this city as she could. This city was bad news, and she didn’t like it here. 

Quickly, she realized Emily had already fallen asleep. She looked at the time and smiled, not even 40 minutes since they had left, these painkillers must really be something to knock her out like that. Keeping one hand on the wheel, she extended the second to adjust the little cover Emily had taken to stay warm. The brunette felt her hand and nuzzled it softly, smiling in her sleep. JJ felt her heart sink in her chest at that. The brunette felt safe with her, she considered her her best friend, and JJ’s new found feelings were putting all of that in jeopardy. 

_“At least, I guess I will get my alone time”_ thought the blonde, smiling almost sadly. She had at least two hours before she would have to stop for the night, and she knew Emily wasn’t going to wake up anytime soon.

It would be so much easier if she could just forget about this, pretend nothing happened, pretend it was all okay. But every time she looked at her, she could feel that little pull in her heart, that little yearning. She knew there was no way she could have chosen to be anywhere else, because she wanted to be the one Emily could rely on, the one to be there for her when things got ugly or complicated. She wanted to be her person. 

She hadn’t felt that way since… never if she was honest. Never a man had made her feel that way, and maybe that meant a lot more than she was ready to admit right now.

So, what if she would never got to talk to her about this, to kiss her? She could do with that. She _would_ do with that. Shutting up and locking up these feelings in a tight little bow inside of her would be excruciating, but losing Emily would be… She couldn’t even imagine her life without the brunette in it. 

The little voice inside her head reminded her it would not be that easy. What was she going to do the day Emily would date a guy? Would she manage to be okay with that? 

But she needed to take problems one at a time, and she had already enough to worry right now, without adding to that things that might not happen before months. Right now, her main concern was going through the next 12 hours or so with the other agent without betraying herself. 

Stifling another yawn, she took the decision to stop at the next motel she could find. Emily would surely appreciate too, that car seat couldn’t be too comfortable for her shoulder, and she needed to eat.   
Ten miles later, she took the turn to get out of the main road and quickly parked in front of the motel. She turned to Emily, so peaceful in her sleep, and felt guilty about waking her up. Emily rarely looked peaceful, or anything close to that, her troubled past catching up with her too often. 

JJ softly struck her arm, keeping her touch light, not wanting to startle or hurt her. 

“Hey Sleepyhead…”

A slow smile appeared on Prentiss’s lips, but she didn’t wake up, only burrowing herself deeper under her cover.

“Hey Emily”, JJ tried again a little bit louder. “You need to wake up now, we will get you a real bed.” 

The brunette’s dark eyes fluttered open this time, sleepily taking in the world around her. Her smile grew bigger as her eyes focused on the blonde standing next to her.

“Hey, Jayje… Are we stopping for the night already?” 

The blonde chuckled lightly. Prentiss was clearly out of it, not realizing they had been on the road for several hours. 

“Yeah, we are. I hope your nap was good, given how much you snored…”

“I do not snore! “

“Sure, tell that to the radio that couldn’t even cover the noise.” 

She knew it was immature, but she had missed teasing the brunette these past 24 hours, and she was glad to see she could still joke with her like everything was normal.

“There’s a restaurant right there. I’ll go get us something to eat, while you go get us two room, okay?” 

“I can do that”, nodded the other. No…”

“No pickles, I know Em.”

They shared a soft laugh together. They had spent so many nights, on a case and partying, ordering food for each other, their allergies and tastes had no secrets.

“You’ll be okay, walking to the hotel?” 

Emily jumped out of the car, now fully awake, and stuck her tongue out to the blonde, like a child. 

“I’m not made of sugar, JJ. Go get us food, I’ll get the rooms.”

Both women went their separate way, with a smile on their lips. Because even if they couldn’t see it, they would always be what the other needed to smile and forget about the rest.

JJ quickly picked up the food, a simple burger and fries for each of them, no pickles for Emily, of course, and went to meet up with her friend in the hallway. She wasn’t exactly worried about Emily, but not really thrilled to know she was alone while hurt and basically high on painkillers.

When she found her in the lobby of the motel, the brunette was waiting for her, a key in her hand, and a sheepish look on her face. 

“Hey, you’re good to go up?”

“About that”, stalled the brunette, “there’s a tiny detail…”

“A… detail?” 

Please no. JJ needed her life to not turn into a crappy romance movie right now. Not that. 

“There’s apparently a truck convention not far, and all their room are booked, and there is only one left so we will have to bunk together… I’m sorry JJ”, she started to apologize when seeing the look on the other woman’s face, “I showed her my badge, and it didn’t do anything, and I’m too exhausted right now, to fight with that lady who is, for someone not wearing a gun, surprisingly frightening. She reminds me of my mom.”

That last sentence had been whispered like a dark secret and pulled JJ out of her shocked state, getting a laugh out of her. She had to admit, that lady did look a bit like Ambassador Prentiss. And if she didn’t have any more room, it was of no use to go fight with her. And they had shared room before, right, this would just be like any other night on a case. 

“Don’t worry, Em, it’s fine, it’s not like it never happened before. Let’s just eat so you can go back to sleep, and to deafening me with your snoring ability.” 

“I do not snore, Jareau, stop spreading lies.” 

“Or what, Prentiss? I got the food; you can’t hurt me!”

“Or I’ll tell the whole team that you… that you…”

Her voice trailed off until she became completely silent, a blank look on her face. 

“Come on Jareau, it’s not nice to mock when I’m high!” 

“Yeah sure, I’ll just take that as a victory. Very mature, Prentiss”, she added when the brunette stuck her tongue out one more time. 

It was definitely a funny habit of the brunette, she only did that when she was really comfortable with someone, meaning not a lot of people apart from her team. JJ liked it though. She liked seeing the brunette being so carefree with them, with her, liked knowing not many people had seen this side of her. 

But all these little things seemed to appear much important since she had realized her feeling. It was like she had opened her eyes again, and everything seemed so much brighter when she looked at her. Everything about Emily seemed to just be… more. And the more time she spent with her, the surer she was about her feelings. She was definitely in love with the brunette, and if their interactions today were any indications, maybe, just maybe, this wouldn’t end as badly as she feared. 

It wasn’t long till they both ate and were ready to go to sleep. And of course, of course, there was only one bed in the room, or this wouldn’t be complete, but Jennifer was confident this would be okay. They had slept in the same bed a thousand times before, and nothing was different. Plus, Emily was almost passed out already. She had taken another painkiller, and these things were very much effective on her. 

Jennifer had offered to take the couch, to let Emily be comfortable in the bed, afraid to hurt her while moving in the night, but the brunette had told her to not be ridiculous and that she would punch her if she insisted. And if she was honest, Jennifer was way too exhausted to fight, and that bed looked way too comfortable. 

So, they both slipped under the cover, to each their side. They had their routine, JJ noticed, like an old married couple. The thought made her smile, but before she could share it with her friend, a soft snoring sound started coming from the older agent. 

The blonde smiled fondly. It didn’t take long for her to fall asleep too, and her last thought was that finally, today had been a good day. Tomorrow would be okay too. 

++++++

And tomorrow did start okay. 

The first minutes were definitely alright, JJ woke up to the sun rising up around 7 am. She sleepily tried to hide her face in the pillow, not wanting to leave the warmth of the cover just yet, but then the pillow moved. And the pillow was not a pillow, as much as it was Emily herself. 

She had her arm draped over the brunette’s torso, and her face comfortably set in her neck. This was not exactly new, but definitely felt like was. 

As discreetly as she could, she lifted her head and tried to move har arm away, before being stopped by a hand on her wrist, tugging her in, pushing her to lie against the brunette again. 

“Hmm, don’t go, Jayje”

Now this was new. Very new. And JJ wanted to pretend she didn’t like it, but the brunette’s body was warm, and comfortable, and this bed right now felt like home. And in just few minutes, before she even realized what was happening, she was asleep again.

Against her, Emily smiled softly. She had awakened just seconds before JJ, quickly taking in their positions. She was not going to complain, but when she had felt JJ wake up, she had frozen, and the easiest course of action had been to pretend to sleep. But then she was moving, and she was leaving, and Emily didn’t want her to go away, and she kept pretending. 

And if later the blonde said something, she would blame it on the meds. But right now, the woman she loved was warped around her body, fitting in perfectly, like they were made to be together, and this felt too perfect to think about what could come next. This was a problem for Awaken Emily, and right now she still needed to sleep. 

That was perfect. 

They woke up again an hour later, for real this time. JJ didn’t comment on what had happened earlier, feeling like this conversation topic would not be in her advantage right now. They both got ready quickly, used to having no time to wake up in the morning. Emily needed help getting dressed, her shoulder getting in the way of everything. JJ briefly wondered how he would get around once she was back home, alone, but brushed that thought away. 

Not even an hour later, they were back in the car.

This time, Emily was not going to fall asleep as soon as the car started, and a comfortable silence took place in the car, JJ just driving while Prentiss was playing with the radio, trying to find a station they would both like, which was a difficult task given their very different taste in music. Even if Emily had given up on the goth outfits, she still favored hard rock and metal, while JJ did was more in love with the usual pop music, or whatever she would feel like dancing to. Finally, Emily just gave up on the radio and decided to talk instead. 

“What did Hotch say to you before he left?” 

JJ nearly jumped at the sudden question. She was getting used to driving in silence, and the question totally out of the blue surprised her.

“Not much. What did he tell you?” 

““Don’t mess this up”. I’m not sure what he was talking about so I just agreed and left it to that… Do you know what he meant?”

“I… Don’t know…”

There was no way Hotch could know, right? JJ felt herself starting to panic at the thought. She had been pretty transparent in the hospital, but surely not that much. But why would he say that to Emily, otherwise? Maybe he just wanted to push them to talk, to push JJ to talk to her, really. 

“JJ”, asked Emily again, “what did he tell you?”

She could feel the blonde wasn’t telling her something, and it made her curious. JJ and her were pretty tight, sharing more than most people on the team, they proved again and again how far they were willing to go for each other. It worried her that there might be something going on that the blonde wasn’t okay sharing with her…

“He… Told me we needed to talk whenever I would get back.”

“Why would you need to talk to him? Is everything okay?” 

Moment of truth. JJ was incapable of lying to Emily, no matter what was going on, she just couldn’t hide anything from her. And even if this was not about telling her she had feeling for her, it was still admitting something she had not fully processed and dealt with herself. 

“He probably wants to talk to me about the other night”, she started, her eyes focused on the road, not daring to look at the brunette next to her. “I did not react very well when I learned you were hurt, I… I fully freaked out to be honest”. 

A dry laugh escaped her, as she kept talking, her walls coming tumbling down. There were no tears in her eyes though, which greatly surprised her. 

“I was scared. I was… terrified to lose you, convinced you were about to die. You stayed an awfully long amount of time in surgery, you know? And in my defense, all Morgan told me on the phone was hat you got shot, no info on where, if it was bad, nothing, and my brain just went to the worst-case scenario…” 

On the other seat, Emily was looking at her, her heart sinking in her chest with every word coming out of the blonde’s mouth. She could see the fear still etched in every line of her face, and that definitely explained the bags under her eyes. 

“JJ, I’m sorry, I… It’s okay to be afraid.”

And god was she sorry. Sorry the blonde went through that for her, because of her, and she wasn’t even there to help her through it, and yet, JJ was still right here with here, helping her. 

“It’s not your fault, I know that. And the unsub is dead by the way, in case the guys didn’t tell you. I know it’s part of the job, and we all got hurt in the field, but in my mind the other night, I could not, I couldn’t stop thinking, spiraling. I was there, in this waiting room, while you were in surgery, and I was powerless, useless. And then the doctor came out and, gosh that poor doctor, I nearly tore him a new one out there”, she laughed darkly, “I think Rossi was ashamed of me."

And she kept talking. And it did make her feel better, lighter, but she kept her eyes fixated on the road, because she knew if she even stole a glance at her colleague, she would break down at whatever she would see in her eyes. Pity, friendship, sorry, pain, empathy, compassion, thank you…

And so, she just kept talking, told her how she had stayed by her bed the whole time, holding her hand, not even leaving to go to the bathroom, or get something to eat, hadn’t slept or moved in hours, because this was where she felt useful, even if she was just watching, it was better than sitting around in the hotel. She told her how she had started wondering what would have been the last word she had said to Emily, and how lame they were. Told her how worried Morgan was too, and how she had not shed a single tear the whole time because one tear would have meant more, and tears were pointless. 

And the whole time, Emily just sat there, looking at her. By the time JJ was done, there were tears in her eyes she didn’t even tried to fight. She was so used to her walls, to her reclused life, she wasn’t used to people caring about her. And the team was something but JJ was a whole other thing, a whole other level, and she knew that because she too would crumble if the blonde got hurt. A slight hope passed in her heart that maybe, just maybe, JJ’s reactions meant she felt the same way toward Emily than she did, had those same feelings. But the older agent quickly crushed that hope, this was not about her unrequited love, this was about being there for JJ.

“And Hotch wants to talk to me, probably because of that, because now he thinks I can’t do my job, that if you get hurt on the field, I wouldn’t be able to keep going and get the job done, and I don’t blame him, she finally admitted. I don’t blame him because I’m not sure what I would do either…”

“JJ”, started Emily, in a calming voice. “JJ, stop the car. Please.” 

The younger agent listened to her, slowly parking the car on the side of the road. But even as the car was stopped, she kept her trembling hands on the wheel and her eyes in front of her, locked on something she couldn’t see herself, and she kept repeating the same words. 

“I don’t know what I would do…”

Her heart was beating hard in her chest, and her throat was closing, her breathing becoming shallow, and the only things she could do was keep talking, like a mantra.

“I don’t know what I would do…”

“JJ, JJ look at me”, spoke Emily. 

The brunette leaned across the car and took the blonde’s hand in hers, squeezing softly to get her attention, but the agent was too far gone, not hearing a word she was saying. She reached for her, and softly put her hand on the other’s cheek, stroking with her thumb and forcing her to look in her direction.

“Jennifer”, she said a bit louder.” Jennifer, look at me.”

The blonde’s eyes finally gained some focus on her and she seemed to really see her for a moment.

“Emily, I’m so sorry, I… I… I don’t know what I would do.” 

“JJ, it’s okay calm down, look at me. “

She locked eyes with the blonde, her heart breaking a little more when seeing the tears drawing in her beautiful baby blue eyes. She kept talking to her calmly, helping her slow her breathing, inspire, expire. She took her in her arms and let her cry for as long as she needed, her own tears sliding down her cheek, but she didn’t care about those, only JJ mattered now. 

“It’s all over, JJ I’m okay, I promise. I’m so sorry you had to go through all that, but I’m okay now, and you’re okay too. It will be okay, baby girl, shhh, shhh”

The nickname had come out so naturally, and neither woman was going comment on it. JJ was starting to come down from her panic attack, and she suddenly felt exhausted, like all the tiredness of the world had suddenly fallen on her shoulders. 

“I’m so sorry, JJ”, said Emily one last time. 

The two women stayed in that position a few more minutes, comfortable in that embrace they had both needed, in the shelter of that car, of that hug. But time was passing and they still needed to get back to DC, today. 

Softly, she started retreating into her own seat, leaving the comfort of Emily’s arm. She was about to say something when she heard the brunette hissing, failing in her try to be silent. 

“Oh my god, Em, your arm, did I hurt you? I’m so sorry!"

“It’s okay JJ”, answered the other immediately, putting a calming hand on her knee. “I just moved the wrong way, it’s alright, you didn’t do anything.” 

The blonde didn’t believe her but didn’t answer either. 

“I should… We should get started again. We still have at least two more hours before we’re home.”

“Yeah, we should get on our way.” 

Neither of them tried to make this less awkward because, really, how could they make it less awkward after JJ just broke down in her arms, having a full-blown panic attack.

But they both pretended like Emily’s hand wasn’t still on her knee, like that was just her place. Her thumb started stroking through the thick fabric of her jeans, a perfect rhythm that finished appeasing the young agent. 

They traveled that way in silence for a long time, maybe an hour. They were almost in DC actually when Emily broke the silence again, with something even more surprising than the first time. 

“Move in with me.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> JJ consider Emily's idea and have a conversation with Garcia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this chapter is late, my laptop charger blew up and I had to get a new one! Only one more chapter left after this one, I will post tomorrow!

“Move in with me.”

JJ almost crashed the car in surprise, but caught herself just in time. 

“I’m sorry, you said what?” 

“Okay, I know it sounds crazy but hear me out, please. As much as I hate to admit it, and you know I do, I’m going to need help… I can’t get dressed, let alone cook, or clean up. And I… really don’t want to be alone right now, and I don’t think you do either…”

“Em…”

“Look, if you say no, I’ll have to call my mom for help and she will send me her maid, and I don’t want to ask 60 years old Rosita, who saw me when I was wearing diapers for help getting dressed in the morning. And the rest of the team, I love them, don’t get me wrong, but Rossi and Hotch would feel like moving in with my dad, I don’t think I could handle the constant talking of Reid or Garcia and Derek is my brother but I, _one_ , don’t want to ask him for help getting dressed, and _two_ , I’m pretty sure I would try to kill him in less than a day. You know I’m right.”

JJ had to admit she had a point. She dreaded being alone in her apartment as much as she thought she needed it. And Emily did needed help. But was living with Emily really a great idea? These past days had been messy and complicated, but in the end, she felt closer to Emily right now than she had in a long time, because she let her in. But could she stay with Emily 24/7, being that close to her, without ending up doing something stupid like, who knows, kissing her? 

Prentiss could almost see the wheels turning in the blonde’s head. She didn’t think JJ would jump on the occasion, but she hadn’t anticipated this to be such a hard decision for the blonde. She was about to take back the proposition when JJ finally spoke. 

“Can I give you an answer tonight? I… need time to think and to be alone for a while… I’ll drop you at your place and go talk to Hotch, then go home and lay down for a while. Then I’ll… I’ll phone you I guess, if I decide to stay at my place. If not, I’ll bring the food.” 

“Sure, whatever works for you… It’s okay if you don’t want to, JJ. I know I made it sound like nightmare, but I would survive just fine with Derek or Rosita, you know?” 

“I know Emily”, smiled JJ, knowing the brunette only meant well. “I know, I just need to get some time and think… these past few days have been… complicated, and I just need to process all of it.”

“You can take all the time you need, Jennifer. I’m not going anywhere…” 

+++++++

The doors to the Bureau opened up before her a few hours later. After dropping Emily at her place, she had drove straight to the office, eager to talk to Hotch and get this over with, to finally go home. She still had no idea whether she would be going to Emily’s afterward, but the sooner she was done, the sooner she could start wondering about that. 

She quickly stopped by her friends’ desks, knowing they would all want to know if Prentiss was doing any better. Morgan wasn’t surprised to hear her snoring was bad, and they all smiled as Reid gave them some snoring trivia facts. 

After the small talk was done, she left to Hotch’s office, not without promising to go see Garcia once she was done. 

She knocked on her boss’s door, waiting for him to invite her in. 

“JJ, please come inside.”

Once she sat down, an awkward silence floated around the office for a few minutes. 

“Look, there is no easy way to start this conversation”, finally sighed the man. “I trust you know why I asked to talk to you?”

“I do, Sir. I lost it the other day at the hospital, I… I can’t explain why just yet, Sir. I care about Emily, like for any other member of this team, but I shouldn’t have reacted that way. It won’t happen again.”

“It’s okay to worry about each other, JJ, we all do, but I need to know that we can still count on you if one of us gets hurt. Nothing like that ever happened, so I’m going to let it slide and trust you when you say it won’t happen again. But I hope you know that if you ever need to talk about this, about whatever is going on, you can come to me, alright?” 

“I know, thank you. I… Talked about it with E… Prentiss on the way back here, and I think it helped, Sir. But can I ask you something?” 

“Of course, anything JJ.” 

“I still have a lot of day off to take, right? Would it be possible to take a few, maybe a week? I think… I need some time to myself, to think. I’ll talk to Garcia about the cases to treat, I’m sure she will do a great job.”

“Of course, I’m guessing you’d like that to start today? I’ll take care of the paperwork; you can leave whenever you’re done here.” 

“Thanks, Hotch, I really appreciate that.”

She said her goodbye, and sighed loudly as she closed the door to the office behind her. At least, this was over, and it went better than she expected. She knew she was lucky Hotch had not decided to press further and insisted to know what was going on, because she didn’t know what she would have said…

Her next stop was Garcia’s office. And of course, the cheery blonde was waiting for her, had probably followed her in the surveillance camera, and pulled her in a bear hug a soon as she walked through the door. 

“Oh my god JJ, you’re here! Are you okay, how are you feeling?” 

“Easy, Pen”, laughed JJ, “I’m alright, you can stop squeezing me.”

“Oh, sorry, sorry. And how is our girl? Will she be okay?”

“Em will be fine, her arm still hurts, it probably will for some time, but she’s going to be okay.” 

“That’s great! Do you know if she needs help, is there anything we can do?” 

“About that… “

JJ distanced herself from the bubbly tech analyst to seat in a pink chair near the wall, putting her head between her hands.

“She’s going to need help, like, to cook, get dressed, everything…”

“Oh, that’s alright, Jayje, we will just take turns going to her place, it will work out, don’t worry.” 

“She… kinda offered me to come live with her for sometimes, to help her? I just… I don’t know if it’s a good idea, Pen”

“Why wouldn’t it be a good idea?”

In her mind, she was smiling like a cat that just ate the mouse, sure of what the blonde was going to tell her. It was time the two women realized their feelings for one another and Garcia was fully ready to cheer and push them until they were finally honest. 

“I… I think I’m love with her, Pen. I don’t what to do right now."

“Oh honey. I’m sure this will be okay. Do you want to go to her place?”

“I don’t know!” JJ got up and began pacing back and forth in the small office, too nervous and scared to keep sitting in the chair. “What if I mess up, and kiss her or say something! What if… What if she hates me after? I can’t go, I just can’t!” 

“JJ, calm down!” 

Garcia put her hands on the agent’s shoulder, effectively stopping her pacing and forcing her to focus on the smaller blonde.

“JJ look at me, be honest. Do you want to go to her place?”

“I… I think I do, yes.”

Her voice was barely a whisper and Garcia would have missed if she hadn’t been listening and waiting for an answer like her life depended on it. She wanted to scream and dance with the blonde’s admission, but she recognized her friend was genuinely scared and needed support right now, not crazy Pen. 

“Then go. You’re in love with her, but that doesn’t mean you have to avoid her, doll. You should go to her place. She needs someone and I’m sure she wants that someone to be you, and I think you want that someone to be you, you want to be the who take care of her…”

“I do, but what if I can’t? What if I mess up?” 

“I don’t think you could ever mess up so much that our girl would hate you JJ, and I think if you did, you could be surprised by what would find out, but that’s not a discussion for today. But if you want to be close to her JJ go, cause from what the boys told me, you don’t want to be alone, and you should be with her…”

“I… know you’re right, Pen, but I’m terrified. I’m terrified that I love her, and I could lose her because of that.” 

“I’m serious JJ, you could never lose Emily over that, she would never push you away for that… “

“I think I’ll go… If I don’t, I’ll be mad at myself, and I will keep wondering how she’s doing… “

“Then go, JJ!"

“Thanks for the pep talk, Pen, I think I really needed that.” 

“Anytime you want girl. Now go find your girlfriend, girl!”

“Pen!”

“Oh, come on, let a girl hope!” 

“Oh, by the way, I should probably let you know I took a week off, so you’re in charge of the cases now! Good luck!”

“Oh no come on, you can’t do that to me! Come back here, traitor!” 

JJ left the office with a smile on her lips, knowing Garcia wasn’t truly mad at her, and feeling a little bit lighter, her heart a little less sore after talking to her friend. 

She drove back to her apartment quickly and packed a few clothes. In moments like that, she was glad she lived alone. She had no one asking her what she was doing, no one to make her doubt her fragile decision, no one to question her. 

And before she could change her mind, she sent a text to Emily, to make her choice real, and reassure the brunette. 

++++++++

The soft vibration of the phone on her chest woke up Emily, eliciting an angry meow from Sergio when she started moving. She had fallen asleep barely minutes after the blonde left, with her cellphone in her hand. She felt like a child, sleeping all the time. 

As soon as she saw who sent her a text, her heart sank in her chest, sure the text was telling her JJ wouldn’t be coming to her place. Maybe she had pushed the blonde too far with this idea… she truly was going to need someone to help her around for a while, but maybe offering to JJ to come live with her was too much? The younger agent was clearly shaken up after Emily’s wound, and moving out of her apartment, her safe place, would maybe be too much for her? 

Sighing, Emily finally opened the text? Overthinking now wouldn’t do her any good. 

“Are you okay with Chinese food tonight? I’ll be there at 7”

She hated the flutter of love and happiness that agitated her heart when she realized JJ was coming. She was used to hiding her feelings but these medications were not helping with that, and she had a feeling it would only get harder from now on. She was keeping her mind from hoping too much, reading too much into what JJ had told her, but she couldn’t stop the tiny sliver of hope that was appearing in her heart. All she could was this would not end up too badly, for either of them. 

She looked at the time and saw it was already 5. Two more hours until JJ would be here. She needed to get busy, or she would just keep checking what time it was every few minutes. 

With difficulty, she got up from the couch and tried to find things to do around the apartment. There was not much she could do anyway. Cooking was out of the way, cleaning too, and the apartment was pristine anyway. She gave some more water and food to Sergio, who was following her around the apartment like a puppy. He was always like that when she got hurt, trying to lay down on her wounds every opportunity.

Stifling a groan at the movement, she put the cat food back in the fridge. She wouldn’t admit it out loud to anyone, but damn this hurt like hell. She could almost feel the hole in her shoulder with every move, every breath she took. She remembered exactly what it had felt like, feeling the bullet go through, feeling the tissue get torn apart, the meeting of the bullet and the bone. She remembered the hit of the first shot, the one stopped by her vest. She had one hell of a bruise for that one, already showing pretty colors on her chest. 

The pain killers were wearing off, and she knew if she didn’t take more quickly, the pain would settle in, and it would be near impossible to get rid of it. She hated having to depend on these medications to function, but she knew stopping the pills now would be the worst possible thing to do. 

Not finding anything to do, she sat back on the couch. 5:30. She was already antsy. Patience was not really her strong suit outside of a case. She could spend hours, day, on a stake out, but waiting an hour and a half for JJ was out of her reach. 

Sighing, she thought again about what was about to happen. JJ was going to come here, not new. She was going to cook here, that was new. She was going to sleep here. Not new. 

Oh my god, Emily realized suddenly, she was going to sleep here. She needed to prepare the guest room. Surely, she would able to put sheets on a bed, right?

20 minutes later, that proved to be a harder task than she had first planned. The sheets were on, but it wasn’t her best work. On the other hand, putting the blanket, she was not even going to try. She just left the blanket at the foot of the bed, neatly folded, knowing the blonde wouldn’t hold it against her. 

Wanting to be as much of the perfect hostess as she could be given her condition, which she owed to her mother’s education, she next went looking for some towels to give JJ for her stay. This whole experience was definitely making her realize how little things she kept in her apartment when it was a hard time finding linens for two. 

6:30. Okay that was only thirty minutes left to wait. She could do thirty minutes, how bad could her train of thought get in thirty minutes, anyway?

Sitting on that very same couch one more time, she turned on the tv and scrolled through the channels, hoping to find something distracting enough. The good thing about her job was she was never bored of reruns on tv since she could never watch anything the first time. She stopped the tv on an episode of the Simpson. She loved that silly show way more than it was reasonable. Growing up, her mom never let her watch this type of programs, so it became a pleasure as much as a way to piss her off, and years later, the habit still sticks with her, letting her enjoy the yellow characters anytime she could. 

Engrossed in the ridiculous storyline, she jumped when the doorbell rang loudly. She went to the door, smiling happily, but still took the time to check who it was through the peep hole. Old habits die hard, especially in her line of duty. But it was only JJ behind the door, holding a travel case and two bags of Chinese take-out, and wearing a shy smile on her lips.

“Right on time, come on in!” 

The moment Emily opened the door, JJ knew she had made the right choice. She was still worried about messing things up, but her mom had taught her to live with remorse, and not regrets. Being here, with the older agent, it was right, it was where she was supposed to be.

She entered the apartment after giving a quick hug to the brunette, careful not to hurt her shoulder, then made a beeline to the kitchen. She wanted to put down the food, but more than anything, check on a feeling.

“Oh, we are so going grocery shopping tomorrow”, she laughed after opening the fridge and a few cabinets. “You realize there’s more food for Sergio than for you here?” 

“I know, I know, but to be fair Sergio is here more than me.” 

The fake glare Jennifer threw her way made both of them laugh. It was always easy between them.

“Come on, let’s eat and get some sleep, Prentiss. You won’t say it, but I know you’re tired, the bags under your eyes don’t lie.”

“I’m not even going to deny that, cause that food smells way too good right now, and I’m starving.”

The women settled side by side in the couch and ate in a comfortable silence. Emily smiled as Jennifer tried to steal one of her dumplings. She never ordered any, and always ended up taking some from her colleagues’ meal, and denying it. It had been a long time since Emily started ordering more dumpling to leave some on the side for Jennifer, who pretended not to notice the pattern. 

“You know, I was surprised to get your text”, said Emily once they were done. They were just relaxing on the couch, chatting about nothing really, enjoying being with each other and finally being home.

“Why?”

“I wasn’t sure you were going to come… in the car I thought, maybe you weren’t okay with that and I was pushing it. You were shaken up, and now you’re moving from the comfort of your home, where you feel safe, it was…”

“I feel safe with you”, said JJ, interrupting Emily’s rambling. “I spent a lot of time at your place, and I feel home here, and with you, and I feel safe here. I hesitated but it wasn’t for that, I just thought I needed some alone time, but a certain tech analyst made me realize that was maybe not the case.”

“Then what do you need? You know you have one word to say and I’d help you, anyway I can.” 

“I think… I need to realize you’re alright. Pen made me realize that if I didn’t come here, I’d spend my time worrying and checking on you. And I think right now, being alone with my thoughts, is probably not the best idea for my own well-being.” 

Without another word, Emily reached out and took the blonde’s hand. Their eyes met, and it felt like time stopped for a second. It was only the two of them, and the rest of world had no hold on them right now. 

It would be so easy right now, Emily thought, to lean in and kiss her. But JJ needed her to be there, and not to take advantage of her, and she would not betray her like that. 

Instead, she pulled on her arm, until the blonde’s head rested on her good shoulder, and kept their fingers linked. 

“We will be okay… No matter what, we always got each other, right?” 

“You know it, Prentiss, always.” 

They stayed a long time like that, just comfortable, relaxed. JJ realized Pen was right. She knew Emily, and she couldn’t imagine Emily casting her out of her life, no matter what. And JJ relaxed with that knowledge, that they would be okay, that she wasn’t about to ruin this. And finally, maybe that was all she needed. 

The spell was broken when Sergio jumped on their knees, startling both women. 

“I think your cat is telling us we should go to bed now.” 

“And I think he’s for once a very smart cat. I set up the guest room for you. Tried is more like it, I never realized how useful two arms are to change sheets.”

Jennifer laughed softly, she could definitely picture Emily fighting with the sheets, swearing at them until getting them to hold in place. 

“You shouldn’t have done that Emily; I would have done it myself.” 

“Yeah, keep that in mind, because I did not put in the blanket, buttercup.” 

“Defeated by a mattress, poor you.” 

“Oh, low blow Jareau! You see my pride? it’s wounded!”

“Oh, I’m sorry, do you need me to kiss it better maybe?” 

The moment the words came out of her mouth, JJ mentally slapped herself. Way to be discrete, not even a day here and she was already offering to kiss her, maybe after a week she would offer to take a shower with her. 

They were still sitting on the couch, closer than ever, and if the eye contact was inevitable, so was the tension that appeared. 

Emily’s eye flickered to JJ’s mouth, not even a second, but enough for the blonde to notice. Her own eyes were slowly darkening, baby blue turning into midnight color, where Emily thought she could just drown right now. They were so close, and a kiss would be so easy. Just a few inches, and they could taste each other, finally challenge their imaginations, finally know if that sparks they both felt would be there. 

But at the last moment, JJ pulled back suddenly, getting up and inspiring. 

“We should head to bed now. You… must be exhausted.” 

Emily nodded silently, not trusting her voice right now. She got up too, and followed the blonde in the corridor, stopping before the bedroom’s doors, one on each side.

“Do you... Do you need help getting changed?” asked JJ.

“I’ll manage, just go to sleep Jareau. And JJ?”

“Yeah?” 

“Thanks for coming… I didn’t say it before, but I hope you know I’m really happy you’re here.” 

“You don’t have to thank me, Emily. It’s like we said, right? We’ll always have each other.” 

With that, each woman retreated into her own room, smiling, happy, thinking. 

Emily laid down on her bed and sighed. She was exhausted, for the pain, this day, and oh my god, had she really almost kissed Jennifer Jean Jareau? And JJ had freaked out, like she couldn’t wait to get away from her. Emily had scared her away, right after telling herself JJ needed her. She needed to ger her feelings under control or their time together would become a nightmare, for both of them. 

Bracing herself, she got up and tried to change into something comfortable to sleep. The pants were okay, took a bit longer to slip in, but not too complicated. She already knew the top wouldn’t be as easy. In the end, she just decided to get rid the bra and keep the tank top she was already wearing. Maybe tomorrow night she would ask JJ for help, but for tonight this would have to do. She took a painkiller to be able to sleep and drifted off quickly, still cursing herself for what happened on the couch. 

On the other side of the corridor, the same thoughts were spiraling in JJ’s mind. She had promised herself she wouldn’t do anything stupid, and yet, here they were. Emily probably thought she was crazy, or trying to take advantage of the situation, which was the last thing JJ wanted. 

Exhausted, she sat on the bed. Seeing the messy sheets on the bed and the blanket at the foot made her smile. Emily had really tried to do this right, to welcome her, and JJ had almost jumped her bones on her first night. She was hopeless. Absolutely hopeless.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our two ladies learn to deal with the cohabitation, and a thank you dinner takes an unexpected turn (Rating M)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I'm not even going to pretend I have a good reason for being late this time, I'm just sorry guys.   
> Anyway this is the last chapter so i hope you liked this fanfiction!   
> Rating M in this chapter, first time I write that really, so don't be too hard on me!

A few hours later, JJ woke up to the almost religious silence of the night. Not a sound was disturbing the calm of the apartment, and for a split second, when she opened her eyes, all of her worries were gone. Then it all came back to the front of her mind, and she sighed in the night. 

A soft whisper across the hall caught her attention. Focusing, she tried to hear more, worrying that Emily might be in pain. After another soft cry, she got up from the bed, shivering the moment the cold air hit her skin. She entered Emily’s room slowly, not wanting to wake up the other woman if it turned out she was just dreaming.

But then, another loud scream left her throat, and she was rustling in the cover, fighting an enemy only she could see. JJ’s heart sank in her chest seeing the look of pure fear on the brunette’s face. Emily was never afraid, or at least never showing it, and the thought of something that could frighten her friend that much made JJ’s skin crawl. 

“Emily, Emily, wake up” she called softly. She sat down on the bed next to her, and tried to squeeze her arm, hoping she would hear her, react. But the brunette kept writhing in the bed, moaning senseless words. The younger agent was starting to be scared she would end up hurting her shoulder if she kept moving like that. “Emily, come on, I need you to wake up, it’s gonna be okay, just wake up.”

The brunette suddenly woke up, sitting up in the bed, almost knocking down JJ. She looked around the room, lost. One minute ago, she was in a basement, getting tortured by Doyle, in a mixture of memories and hallucinations. At some point JJ, had appeared in her dream, strapped to another chair in front of her. Doyle was going to mark her, like he had marked Emily, and she couldn’t let that happen. 

“Emily, are you okay?” She turned her head toward the voice next to her and couldn’t control the relief that washed over her. 

“JJ, you’re okay.” The blonde furrowed her eyebrows without thinking about it, surprised by the brunette’s reaction, she hadn’t been expecting that. “I’m alright, Emily, we’re both okay. It was just a nightmare. Do you want to talk about it?”

“Oh my god, I woke you up, I’m sorry!”

“Don’t be, it’s okay, I’m glad I was there to wake you up…” 

A heavy sigh escaped the brunette. She knew there would be nightmares at some point associated with her wound, but she had hoped she would be able to keep them to herself. She knew the blonde wouldn’t hold it against her if she decided not to tell her anything, but the truth was, she was okay sharing that with the younger agent. 

“It’s okay Emily, you’re safe here, you can relax…” tried to reassure JJ. She could read the tension in every muscle of Emily’s back; in the way her hand was clenching in the sheets, in her stance, in the stiffness of her posture. She knew that if her arm hadn’t been immobilized, she would be biting and scratching her nails right now. When their eyes finally met, she could see it in her chocolate deep eyes. The pain, the fear, the vulnerability, and the walls, slowly coming back up, hiding her from JJ. The blonde tried not to be hurt that the brunette would retreat back in her internal fortress instead of talking to her but she couldn’t stop the light sting of pain crossing her heart. 

Not wanting to be more of a burden for the brunette, the younger agent pulled her hand away, a fake smile gracing her lips before she talked, a shy whisper barely audible. “I should let you go back to sleep, then… I will… I’m right next door if you need me, Emily”. She barely had the time to get up before a hand took a hold of her own, stopping her in her tracks immediately. 

“No, wait! I don’t want you to leave, I… want to tell you. I just… Please come back?” Oh, did she hate the way her voice broke on her last sentence. She hated feeling so vulnerable, so naked, with anyone. But, JJ was not anyone. She wanted to let the blonde in, she already trusted her more than anyone and since everything that had happened with Doyle, she hadn’t talked about it at all, never, and it kept coming back to her, on cases, on lonely nights, on hard days… 

She lightly squeezed JJ’s hands, asking her silently to come back, to sit with her, to be here with her right now. And she knew the blonde would get it. 

And of course, JJ couldn’t say no when Emily looked so vulnerable. She wanted to pull her into her arms and never let her go, never let the world hurt her ever again. But she couldn’t really do that now, could she? All she could do was be there in whatever way the brunette needed her, wanted her. So, she sat back in the bed, trying not to let her mind take her back to the other morning, when their bodies were intertwined, and she simply let Emily scoot closer to her, without pushing her to do anything. 

The older agent took JJ’s hands, and started drawing blind patterns on her palms. She knew talking would be okay, nothing would happen, but it was scary. JJ was probably the member of the team who knew the most about what happened in this basement but they were still things she had no idea of. 

“It’s okay Emily, you don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to.”

“I know, I know. I want to tell you, it’s just… hard to get started I guess.” She said with a dry smile.

“I… It wasn’t really a nightmare at first, it was… memories.” She finally murmured after several minutes of silence, just spent looking at their hands. “I was back in this basement, with Doyle and he was… marking me” The words were hard to get out between clenched teeth. Doyle was a scum bag, but out of everything he had done, this was by far the worst, the thing she was the angriest about. She had felt like her own body wasn’t hers anymore, it had taken months before she felt able to look at herself in the mirror again, and she knew it would be many more before she could feel like wearing anything revealing.

“He was telling me how he would kill all of you, one by one, until I was be too broken to fight back. And I knew he would have done it… His words weren’t threats, they were promises he was going to keep. And it was the scariest thing, knowing he was going to hurt you and I was just here, powerless.”

“But you weren’t powerless, Emily… you fought back, and freed yourself…”

“I know, but I certainly didn’t feel in control at the time… And then, you appeared in the… nightmare. You were in front of me, strapped down to another chair, and Doyle was… He was going to kill you, but first he wanted to mark you, the same way he marked me. And you were calling for me, I couldn’t let him do that, not to you.”

“I was right here, Emily, I was calling for you, trying to bring you back, to get you out of your nightmare. And, look at me Emily, Doyle cannot hurt me. He’s dead, we saw him die, together. He cannot hurt you anymore.”

And Emily knew she was right. She watched Doyle die on the ground of that airport months ago, and that was a very satisfying moment, but it didn’t take away the memories, the pain and the guilt.   
“Just… don’t let me go” she finally answered. “Don’t let me go, Jennifer”. And Jennifer pulled her in an embrace, and she smelled like honey and flower, and it was comfortable, it was easy, it was everything she needed, everything they both needed. 

Within minutes, Emily was asleep again, but not JJ. JJ was running her hand in the brunette’s back in a calming manner, drawing patterns and letters, while her mind was running wild. She could never tell that to the older agent, but she had had the same nightmares at times. After helping Emily disappear, she had been alone too. She couldn’t talk about it with anyone, and she was worried about the brunette, and the scrabble games could only do so much to help her anxiety. And when the nightmares had begun, she couldn’t tell anyone about it. 

She had flash-backs of the fake funeral, of entering the basement and finding her, dying, in a pool of her blood, Morgan holding her hand. She had never felt hatred the way she hated Doyle in this moment. And this was still true. Months later, she hated seeing the impacts he still had on their lives, on their psyche. 

“We’re going to be okay, Emily” she whispered in the soft comfort of the night, with no one but herself to hear. “Everything will be okay”.

++++++++++

This felt almost too good, too domestic, JJ thought in the kitchen. She had come back from grocery shopping just few minutes ago, and she was putting everything in place, Emily helping her in the places she could reach with her hurt shoulder. Their ballet in the small room was easy, like an evidence. They weren’t colliding, or searching their place, it was like they had been doing this for years. 

“God JJ, this way too much you shouldn’t have bought all of this!” 

“If I’m going to live and cook here for the next weeks, your fridge will have to be full. And your cabinets too. Plus, I’m going to be eating half of this, remember?”

The rest of the week flew by like it was just an instant. The day she was supposed to go back to work, she called Hotch, explaining the situation. They had seen the doctor just the day before, and they had clearly underestimated for how long Emily would be stuck with that hurt arm. He had said at least 2 more weeks before she could stop the pain killers, and 3 months before she could use her arm again, and even then, she would have to take things slow, because she would be exhausted at first. 

JJ had a lot more vacation days she could take, but not three months’ worth of it… But this would be a conversation for later. Right now, she could stay with her some more, and Hotch had assured her the team was doing okay, even if everyone missed them. 

One more week and they had a routine set up, perfectly working. They would wake up in the morning, and JJ would take care of the breakfast. Emily had never eaten much in the morning before, but JJ refused to let leave the couch before she had some food in her system. Then they would both go on with their days. 

JJ would generally go running, feeling the need to stay in shape and evacuating a bit of tension that way, then come back home and showered. In the meantime, Emily would either read a book on her phone (she had tried a physical book, but quickly realized her second arm was much more useful than she’d ever thought) or do the laundry. It was the only thing she could really do around the house, even if it took her way longer than she cared to admit and was indeed exhausting. After doing the laundry, JJ would often find her asleep on the couch or in her bed, and would smile, readjusting the blanket on her. 

JJ would cook something easy for noon, and they would just eat watching some silly game on TV. Spending too much time with Spencer and his fun facts had made them both ways too good at this kind of game, and it was fun taking bets on who would win between the two of them. So far, Emily was leading 4-2. 

During the afternoon, it went pretty much the same way. JJ would sometime clean up, but she would more often settle down on the couch with Emily to read something, or watch a movie together. Emily’s love of horror movies was something she would never understand. 

Then at night, they would eat again, joking around and trying to keep Sergio away from the food. If Emily needed to take a shower, JJ would go in and help her. She couldn’t wash her hair, nor get dressed. It had been a whole new world of awkwardness the first time, but they were both getting used to the situation. Despite their feelings toward each other, even if neither was aware of the other’s, they both felt like the shower was not the time or the place to settle that. 

At night, if one of them had a nightmare, they would often end up sleeping in the same bed. It had happened a few times now, both of them having a hard time wrapping their mind around everything, but it was getting better. JJ could feel herself relax more and more every day, her fears slowly going away as soon as her eyes would land on the brunette. 

They were both enjoying this new side of each other they were seeing. As much as the team spent time together, and went to the bar, and sure they knew each other outside of work but this was new. Emily never knew how much JJ loved, and she meant, really loved, butterflies, until she caught her squealing in front of a documentary. 

And JJ knew, in theory, how many languages Emily could speak, but it never truly registered in her mind until one day, several friends from mission and growing up all over the world called her after getting the news of her injury, and she heard her speak Spanish, Russian and Arabic, in a two hours span. And don’t even get her started on her absolute love Disney movie, because Morgan would have field day if she ever told him Prentiss’s favorite movie wasn’t something classical like she pretended, but Tangled. 

Despite what they had both feared, it had been surprisingly easy to learn to live together, and there was not a single moment when JJ had regretted her decision to come here. To be honest, what she feared most now, was the moment she would have to go back to her empty apartment. It didn’t truly feel like home anymore…

This was what was running through her mind that night when she came back to Emily’s place after going running for a while. She couldn’t go this morning, so she had decided to take her chance in the late afternoon, once the temperature wasn’t so high anymore.

As soon as she opened the door, she was greeted by the smell of pizza and a sight to remember. Emily had clearly not thought that plan through and forgot raising her arm, even the fine one, would hurt quite a bit. But the glasses were in the top cabinet. 

When JJ entered the kitchen, the brunette was trying to climb on a chair, which wasn’t easy either with only one arm for balance. The blonde snuck up behind her, careful not to make a noise until she was close enough to be able to catch her if she fell, just in case.

“Need some help, Prentiss?”

The other women effectively jumped at the sound of her voice, not expecting her home so soon, but miraculously, she kept her balance.

“Oh my god, Jareau, give a girl some warning, would you!?”

“I’m sorry” answered the blonde without even trying to hide her laugh, “It was way too tempting. What are you doing up here anyway?”

“Trying to get some glasses, clearly, but I couldn’t, so I had to improvise and…” her voice trailed off as JJ came closer and simply lifted her am, getting to glasses and putting the down on the counter. “I hate you so much, Jareau, you have no idea.” She muttered before taking the hand offered to her and getting down her chair.

“Keep telling yourself that, Prentiss, maybe one day you’ll believe it.” 

The brunette glared at her, falsely angry making the blonde laugh even louder. She had a beautiful laugh, and Emily was happy to be the cause of that, even if it was because she was ridiculous.   
“Why the glasses and pizza anyway? Are we celebrating something and I didn’t get the memo?”

“You!” Smiled the older agent with excitement. “This is a thank you evening. You have been helping me here for the past two weeks, cooking, cleaning etc. So tonight, you are not doing anything! I can’t really cook, so you will have to do with pizza, but I did get Pen to come bring us some alcohol, so we can get drunk!”

“But your meds…”

“I didn’t take any since noon yesterday” smiled the brunette, very proud of herself. “Night was a bitch, but to be fair, it hurt a lot less than I thought it would, it’s pretty manageable. And after all, alcohol is its own kind of painkiller, right?”

“Emily Prentiss, you are insane. And I am so grateful for you.” This was perfect. Emily was simply perfect. “I’m going to take a quick shower, and I’ll join you and we get a good start on that drinking, alright.”

“I’ll wait for you, don’t worry”.

Emily was very happy about this. She truly wanted to thank the blonde for staying here with her, and caring for her. The brunette was maybe not good at asking for help, but she was good at being grateful, and she could never thank JJ enough for everything she had been doing around here these past weeks. She didn’t know how much longer the blonde would be able to stay with her before the real world came to pierce their little bubble, and she had to go back to work, but she wanted to enjoy the time they had left. This little party was the least she could do, and Pen had been very happy to help, providing alcohol for ten days at least. “Tonight, everything will be perfect”, she promised herself. “For JJ.”

The whole time she was in the shower, Jennifer could not wipe the smile off her face. She couldn’t believe Emily did that for her, she must have been in a world of pain last night, all that to get drunk with her. It was adorable, and slightly stupid, so completely Emily. 

Coming back in the living room, she saw the brunette trying to get everything on the table before she came back. The pizza came to be the most challenging with only one hand, and JJ felt herself falling a little bit more in love as she watched her do that for her. It was a small attention but it meant the world to the blonde. 

“You ready, Jayje?”

The voice pulled her out of her thoughts, and she smiled at the brunette. “yeah, yeah I’m ready.”

+++++++

“You have to be kidding me! Come on, not even something a little original? Even a couch or someone’s else room?”

“I was the nice girl okay, I never did anything crazy even in college, and you can’t really say our job leave a lot of room for fooling around!”

“I know but really, you never had sex outside of a bed? That’s sad, Jareau!”

“Well, I’m sorry, but please enlighten me, what is the weirdest place where you had sex?”

“My mom’s office” answered the brunette without even needing to take time to think about the question. The blonde on the other side of the couch almost spit out her drink at the answer and coughed loudly before talking.

“You had sex in your mom’s office? I need details, Prentiss, now.”

“There is nothing much to say! It was a boring gala evening, and we snuck up, I had a key to her office and it seemed like a good idea at the time! However, it did not seem like a good idea when 10 minute later, my mom barged in the office with a colleague.”

“Oh my god, no!” Jennifer was almost howling in laughter at this point. She was starting to be quite tipsy, but enjoying herself way too much to stop the night now. And if Emily had any more stories like this one, there was no way they were getting any sleep tonight until they passed out. “Please tell me you and your boyfriend were not naked at least.”

“That’s where it gets really funny, we were not dressed, and I was not with a boy. To this day, I have never seen my mother so pale, I thought she was going to faint.” Looking back, this was probably one her best growing up stories but at the time, she was definitely not laughing. 

Jennifer nearly passed out at this exact moment. She had expected a lot of things tonight, but certainly not the revelation that Emily had been with girls before. Which meant she might not be as straight as what JJ thought. Which was both a great news, and slightly terrifying, if she was honest.

“Want another drink?”

Lost in her thought, she had not even realized the other women had picked up their glasses for a refill. A small voice in her head told her she should maybe stop there, before she was the one blabbering revelation, but she decided to ignore it. 

“Yup, please!”

“Now, an easier question Jayje, you don’t get to tell me you don’t have an answer.” Announced Emily while giving her the drink. She could see the brunette’s eyes were starting to sparkle more than usual, she was clearly just as drunk as her. “What… is your favorite memory?” 

“I think… us. The party nights with you, and the rest of the time. I love you guys all so much, and we don’t get to spend much time just together, carefree, not chasing a killer. So yeah, I think our… game nights, movie nights, getting drunk night, are my favorite memories. 

“Oh, alcohol is making you sappy, Jareau!” mocked Emily, avoiding a pillow thrown by the blonde agent. 

“Do tell me, what is your favorite memory?” 

“Do you remember that guy who hit on us by pretending to be an FBI agent? That night is my favorite memory. It was one of the very first parties you guys invited me too, and the first time I truly felt like I was part of the team, part of this very strange and dysfunctional family.”

“And I’m the sappy one?”

Emily’s only answer was to stick her tongue out to the younger agent, making her laugh once more. A comfortable silence then took place in the room, only broken by their heavy breathing.  
“How sad is it though, that both our favorite memories are about work?” JJ sighed. “Not our family, or an experience, like a trip, but something so simple like a game night? How bad is our job to make game night seems like the greatest thing on earth?”

“Ouch, it sure sounds bad when you put it that way, Jayje. But maybe it’s not about game night, but about the people we’re with… I don’t see any of you guys as colleague, or work acquaintances, or even friends. You guys are my family, all of you. Game night is nothing extraordinary, it’s the people you share it with that make the memory important.” She stopped talking for a moment, pondering her next sentence. “It was the only thing I had left when I was in Paris, all those memories, all of you. It kept me sane to remember the good times, and not just the time spent chasing killers.”

“You never talk about it, about how it was for you in Paris.” Said JJ quietly. She always wondered what the brunette might have been doing during these 10 months, how she kept busy. 

“I don’t see the point in talking about it. It was quiet, and scary. I had no idea if you guys were alright, or if our plan had truly worked. All I could do was wait, and play Scrabble online.”

JJ felt herself blush under the dark look the older woman gave her. They had never talked about that either. 

“I don’t think I ever thanked you for that.” continued the brunette. The ambiance had taken a pretty dark turn in just a few phrases, but neither of them wanted to quit now. This was part of this unnamed relationship they had, the hard moments, the uncomfortable talks, and everything else.

“Thanked me for what?” Asked JJ, looking at her. This felt like a dangerous direction to take, but she was too far gone to care. Whatever could happen tonight, it was nothing they couldn’t deal with in the morning. 

“For being there, not losing touch. At first, I wasn’t sure it was you, but then I just knew, it couldn’t be anyone else. It made me feel less alone, less… dead. You didn’t give up on me, even then, when you were supposed to.” 

“I could never give up on you It doesn’t matter how far we are from each other, I would never give up on you, Emily.” JJ didn’t remember scooting closer to her, but they were definitely not that close before, were they? And she didn’t mind, all she wanted was to lie down in the brunette’s arms and never leave her, but they shared a look. 

One of those look you read about in romance novel, in these sappy movies Jennifer hated so much. But now that it was happening to her, she found that she really didn’t mind, not when it was Emily in front of her, looking at her like she was her whole world. And there was so much to read in these dark, dark eyes, so much caring and feelings, so many things she knew the brunette was afraid to say, and so many walls disappearing slowly… Her eyes flickered to Emily’s mouth’s, once, twice, and maybe it was the alcohol, maybe she was tired, maybe it was this conversation, and knowing Emily was maybe, just maybe, not as straight as she thought, but tonight she didn’t want to fight this feeling. 

She leaned in closer, still searching in Emily’s eyes, checking for any signs that she didn’t want that, that she should stop, but she couldn’t find any. Instead, she saw the mahogany eyes dart to her lips, before their eyes met again, and Emily’s were darkened, color of a winter night sky, a deep rich color, in which Jennifer wanted to dive, and never come back to the outside world. 

The younger agent leaned in even closer, until their noses were touching and she could smell the alcohol in her breath. Emily still wasn’t moving, afraid to break the spell, to scare JJ away, to lose this. She wasn’t going to make the first move, because maybe the blonde would suddenly change her mind and leave and Emily didn’t think she could handle that. She had been fighting her feelings for years, and now she was afraid to believe what she could see in the dark blue eyes, so if anything was going to happen, it would have to come from JJ. 

And anticipation was making her breath shallow, faster, as JJ was dissipating her last doubts. If this was a mistake, she would blame it on the alcohol and move on, go back to their friendship and forget about tonight. She crossed the distance between them, and then it was happening, she was kissing Emily Prentiss like she had dreamed of doing so many times in the past weeks. 

At the first touch of their lips, Emily didn’t wait to respond. The kiss was sloppy, and tasted of vodka and gin, but it was Jennifer Jareau in her arms and that was the only thing that mattered right now. Tomorrow they would wonder if this was a good idea, but right now any thought was annihilated by the feeling of the other’s lips dancing with their own.

Emboldened by Emily’s reactiveness, JJ licked her lips tentatively, asking for entrance, which was granted to her immediately. A moan resonated through the room at the first contact of their tongue, neither of them knowing nor caring who it was from. 

When the need to breath became too much, JJ let go of Emily’s lips and dropped her head lower before pressing a series of light kisses to the top of her chest, her neck, until she found that point that made the brunette gasp when she sucked on it.

“JJ, fuck” groaned Emily. Her hand left the silky blond hair and landed on Jennifer’s breast, squeezing softly through the thin shirt she had put on after the shower. The brunette still had a hard time believing this was real. Her thumb struck a hardened nipple through the fabric and she felt as much as she heard the blonde moan against her skin. 

“JJ, bed… We should move that to the bed, now.” If they didn’t move right now, they were going to end up having sex right here on the couch, and Emily didn’t want the first time she’d make love to JJ to be like that. 

Using every last bit of will she had, JJ separated herself from Emily’s body, knowing she was right. She didn’t want their first time to be on this couch either, so she pushed herself up, and reached out, offering her hand to the older agent, who took it with a smile. 

Unable to help herself, JJ planted another soft kiss on her lips. Calmer this time, full of want but also love and promises. This was not about sex; it was so much more than that and she needed the Emily to know that. 

They broke apart only to breath, twin smiles lighting up their faces, and hold hands until they were in Emily’s room, right next to the bed. 

Mindful of her hurt shoulder, JJ pushed her softly on the bed. “Let me help you out of this.” She whispered. “Let me show you how much I love you.” She had said it. It was out in the air now, and the world was not bursting into flames and Emily Prentiss was still looking at her like she was the most perfect creature in the world.

Slowly, one by one, she started undressing the brunette, kissing every piece of skin she uncovered, feasting on every shiver, every whimper, moan and twitching she was getting from Emily. She started with her arms, kissed her wrist before going up, tracing blue veins with the tip of her tongue, all the way to her valid shoulder. Emily was already telling her to go faster, but she had other plans for the night. 

She took her tank top off next, revealing a dark purple bra, encasing her generous breasts. The mere sight made her center throb but she couldn’t get distracted right now. She started kissing her chest, toying with the border of the bra. When she kissed the mark mad by Doyle, she felt her lover tense, uncomfortable with the attention. 

“You, Emily Prentiss, are the most beautiful woman in the world” she said in a husky tone, adding another kiss to the mark. “And this, doesn’t change anything to that fact. Your body is a piece of art, Emily. Let me show you, let me convince you”. 

And without a single hesitation, the older agent nodded, putting herself at the blonde’s mercy, trusting her with everything she was. 

Satisfied with the answer she got; JJ went back to her ministrations. She finally took off the bra, sucking in a sharp breath at the sight greeting her. 

“You are beautiful Emily” she whispered again before leaning down and taking a nipple in her mouth. Emily arched her back immediately, trying to pull her closer. 

The blonde was playing with her, nipping, biting, sucking. She could feel her smile against her skin every time she let out a moan. By the time JJ let go of her breasts and started kissing down her navel, she knew her underwear were ruined. 

“JJ, please, stop teasing” she groaned when her lover started playing with the waistband of her pants. The blonde only smiled and Emily buried her head in the pillow. If this was the way she was dying, she was happy about it. 

After playing with the waistband a few more seconds, she finally took them off, slowly, then started kissing up the brunette’s leg, starting up with her left ankle. She sucked on the back on her knee, and came so close to relenting when she kissed the inside of her tight, smelling her arousal, she could almost taste it on her tongue. 

“God Emily, you’re so wet” 

“Oh, trust me, I know that, Jennifer. Will you please stop teasing and just fuck me now?” She couldn’t keep the bite out of her voice but before she was even done talking, her mouth was covered by JJ’s, locking them in a passionate kiss, sucking on her lips. 

Emily sneaked her hand up the blonde’s body, under her shirt and taking a full breast in her palm. The sensitive nipple was quickly pinched between two experts’ finger, effectively making the blonde losing her rhythm. 

Then as quickly as she leaned down to kiss her, she pulled back, took her shirt off, and went back to her ministration. It was too easy to get distracted when the brunette’s kisses felt like this, and her whole body was on fire. 

Deciding to put an end to Emily’s suffering, she took off her panties, finally, her inside clenching at the sight of just how wet her lover was, and her naked body, finally revealed.   
“You are a work of art” she husked before leaning down, blowing a little air on the brunette’s clit, enjoying the way she was writhing on the bed. 

“I swear to god, Jareau, if you don’t make me come right now, I’ll…” she never finished that sentence, as JJ had decided to put her mouth to good use, covering Emily’s sex. She knew Emily wouldn’t last long, not after all the teasing, so she didn’t try to trail off her orgasm. 

Slowly pushing one finger inside, she played with the other women’s clit with the tip of her tongue, savoring the soft cries coming out of her lover.

“Más, Más, JJ, por favor. Dame màs.” The blonde nearly came right hearing the Spanish expletive screamed by Emily. She was so lost in this; she was losing her English. 

Adding another finger, she sucked on the bundle of nerve and looked up as the brunette was coming undone for her. 

“Oh Dios, Si Si,… JJ” Emily panted. Her free hand was scratching the bed, her back arched and her face frozen in pleasure. 

As she came down from her high, JJ climbed back up her body, kissing her softly, letting Emily taster herself on her lips.

“Te amo” whispered her lover softly without breaking the kiss. “Te amo, Jennifer Jareau”.

“I love you too, Emily, but you’re speaking Spanish”. The older agent froze for a second, clearly not expecting that. “Lo sie…” she stopped again in the middle of a word, closing her eyes a moment before trying another time.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I…” 

“Do not apologize for that. Ever” JJ cut her, planting a kiss on her lips. “You have no idea how hot it is to think I made you come so hard you lost your English. I think I’ll make that a goal…”  
“Oh God JJ, you will be my death.” 

The two women shared a passionate kiss, soon broke by a surprised moan coming from the blonde. Emily had snuck her hand past the waistband of her pants, and was teasing her through the wet fabric of her panties.

“But right now, JJ,” she started whispering in her ear, sucking lightly on the lobe, “I think I need you out of these pants, and it’s my turn to make you come until you don’t remember your name”.

Finally, it was hours before the two women got any sleep, too busy discovering each other’s. When they woke up the day after, they wrapped in each other’s arms. Emily was the first to open her eyes, the pain in her shoulder waking her up better than any alarm, but she didn’t want to get out the bed to take her meds, not yet. Jennifer was still asleep in her arms, and she was afraid if she moved, the dream would collapse. 

But JJ had always been a light sleeper and it wasn’t even minutes before she woke up too, opening her eyes to the beautiful sight of a naked Emily Prentiss. 

“Hey you” she whispered happily, closing the distance between them for a soft kiss. 

“I take it you liked your Thank you evening.” Smiled the older woman. 

“I think that would be a safe bet, yes” 

Silence floated around the room for a few seconds, both of them very aware they should talk, at least say something. 

“Listen, Emily…” the brunette heart sank in her chest, certain this was it; this was the dream collapsing, this was the unhappy ending. “I meant what I said, I… I love you Emily. And I know now it’s morning, and everything is more complicated but…”

“I love you too” interrupted Emily immediately, “I love you JJ, I have for years.”

And there would be things to settle, at work, and in their lives, there would be obstacles to overcome, and probably some fights along the way, but as long as they had each other, they knew it would be fine. Because it was them, and things just made sense, things were just easy between them, like it was an evidence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it! I hope you enjoyed it, thank you for all the kudos and the comments!   
> I will post more Jemily fanfic soon ( I have a Xmas fic in progress) so follow me, or find me on twitter, JemilyKingdom  
> See you soon, guys!

**Author's Note:**

> End f the first chapter! I hope you liked it, there's four chapter total, I will post everyday!


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